I wasn't gonna have a resolution, but then I thought of a really good one.

Some say it is silly to go to sleep on new years eve and think anything will be different when you wake up on new years day.

That’s what I was thinking when I fell asleep last night watching a movie, knowing that there were dishes from 2010 in the sink and a suitcase from holidays 2010 that still needed to be unpacked.

And yet, I woke up this morning feeling peace within. Peace within! Outta nowhere. I like 2011 so far. Peace within is not new to me, although it has been so long since I’ve felt it. I welcome it back, but I know it can be fleeting. Although peace within sounds so passive, it takes so much vigilance to maintain it. After feeling it come and go many many times, I know that it is not something that comes with age, or with x number of yoga classes. Once you attain it, it is not necessarily there forever. It requires practice and attention and vigilance because there are too many forces out there that can so quickly whisk it away from you and too many forces within one’s own mind that can push it out.

My resolution for 2011 is to remember that contentment, gratitude, and hope are just as accessible and available to me as self-criticism and cynicism. It really is a matter of choice. For some reason, negativity is the default for me, but if I choose and practice peace within, perhaps that will become the default and maybe one day it will all be so much less work. Maybe not. Either way, it’s worth the effort.

To my gentle reader who recently told me about her newfound peace within: You attributed it to reaching a certain age or turning a certain page, but I beg you to guard that shit vigilantly for it can easily slip away.