Things that you can buy with dollars

Today, I started the day with a trip to the grocery store with my mother and found this:


Then I went thrifting. In addition to hitting the pants jackpot (3 pairs!), I found this:


Then I found myself with time to kill at the fancy outdoor mall and meandered into J. Crew where in addition to pre-torn jeans, you can find khakis, excuse me, chinos, that have been not only torn but speckled with white paint. That's right. For just $79.50, you can buy a pair of pants that has been torn and stained for you in advance for your convenience and style. This way, when you go to starbucks for your vente latte, your friends (the starbucks employees) might make a wisecrack about your dirty ol pants and you'll have the opportunity to explain that you're on a break from applying the primer to your guest room when the truth is that the guy you hired to do the painting is not on a break because you told him he could not take breaks.