Pearls

My grandfather gave them to my mother on her wedding day.

Many women show up at the office with them around their necks shortly after getting married. Maybe it is a common thing for a bride to get pearls for her wedding. I don’t know much about what is common and not and am always having to ask my older sister.

My mother gave me pearls when I was fifteen shortly after my father died. It sort of made sense at the time. Like it was my consolation prize. You will not be getting these from him when you get married, nor will he be walking you down the aisle or teaching you to drive, all of which is unfortunate and so we will forgo the wait and give them to you now. How’s that? That better? Uh, okay, thanks.

They stayed in my mom’s top dresser drawer while I went away to college and then when I moved to Seattle. Now I am back in the same state as my pearls and I take them out of my mom’s dresser sometimes when I go to work in the same building where my father used to work, which, oddly enough, overlooks his grave.

I am twenty-six now and am realizing how things have been complicated for me as a result of my father’s death. I have come to think that it is quite appropriate that I got my string of pearls when I did.

I have not consulted with my mother on why I got my pearls when I did. I think maybe she had some money after the funeral and didn’t know what to do with it and maybe it was cheaper if you buy 3 strands at once (one for me and one for each of my two sisters). Maybe it was simply that she knew that my oldest sister would be getting married soon and that my other sister and I would be bridesmaids and so we should all have pearls to wear. Maybe I would have gotten them at that time anyway. My mother is much more into thrift than symbolism.