Please join us for the first ever Strategic Planning Session of the Board of Directors for the life of Melba Toast to be held at the Radisson Hotel at San Sebastian.* You will join other members of the Board including such notable figures as Melba Toast’s dead father, her female predecessors who she never got to know, past roommates and playmates, childhood teachers and college professors, early loves, writers who she admires (Kurt Vonnegut, Charlotte Bronte, Betty Smith, and George Saunders), her mother and six select siblings, and any of her preferred contemporaries who may be on break from their own existential crises. Together, we will address the vexing issues facing our sole constituent at this time, including, but not limited to:
• Was law school a colossal mistake?
• Can she salvage things with God? Should she?
• Should she just give in to the one who loves her and go with him?
• Is she getting enough calcium?
Your attendance is crucial as we attempt to set the path for the next five pivotal years until we meet in Bora Bora* in 2013.
*Contingent upon funding. Locations may be changed to the Conference Center at Mahoney State Park, located on the scenic Platte River halfway between Lincoln and Omaha in Nebraska.
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1 comment:
I'd like to attend though I cannot guarantee the state and timing of my own existential crises, but what the heck, I'll book a flight. Can you ensure me that they serve bacon at all meals at the Radisson please?
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