Running under the Blue Moon

I just ran off 2009. It’s New Year’s Eve and I just went for the most spectacular run under the second full moon of the month. Halfway through the run I couldn’t decide whether to go my long loop or my short loop. There were time constraints to consider. There were cookies that I had eaten earlier in the day to consider. There were friends who I was eager to meet up with to consider. But I turned my brain off and I checked in with my body. The second I did that I heard my body asking for more and telling me that it was up for the long loop even though I hadn’t been running in a week and a half.

After deciding to go the long loop, the blue moon came into view and I was overcome with peacefulness. I bid adieu to 2009 and I realized that, for the first time in a long time, I am content with where I am and who I am and I am not fixated on changing a thing. Thank you sweet jesus.

This morning, a dear friend sent me a list of things that she is grateful for and here is my list that I sent back to her:

-My lady friends and fun times and great chats had with them
-The peacefulness that I feel about the coming but still unknown changes regarding life after law school. The certainty that I feel that all will be well.
-yoga
-exploration in the kitchen
-growing acceptance of all parts of me
-financial security
-my B Street refuge

What’s on your list?

An unpleasant combination of words spoken to me yesterday

Now,
remember,
there’s
no
prohibition
against
working
evenings
and
weekends,

he said to me on Thursday, as he handed me a project due the Monday after New Year’s weekend.

Out loud, I said, "Got it. I'll see what I can find and I'll get back to you on Monday."

In my head, "Awwww shit....hey, maybe we ought to impose such a prohibition. Look at your waistline! Listen to the boring stories you are repeating all the time. Get out there and get some new material! Oh, and you know how your wife resents you and your kids don't know you? That's probably because of how you spend your weekends and evenings. Consider the prohibition. You'll love it!"

Promises Promises

“It’s very important to keep promises, especially ones you make to yourself,” says Barbara Stanwyck’s character in “Christmas in Connecticut,” as she pulls a mink coat that she promised to buy for herself out of a box. She had to buy the coat on credit and it cost the equivalent of six months wages.

I made a promise to write here every day over my break, but that only lasted for three days perhaps. I’m not too hard on myself about it. It is not that I failed to follow through; it is just that I changed my mind. The mind can always be changed, and I am so comforted by this. Never believe anything I say. Don’t believe anything you read here. It is all subject to change. Don’t ask me to marry you. If you do, and I say yes, don’t hold your breath.

This too shall pass

Things I heard today in the office:

"Man, these north face jackets are so sweet, but everyone has the ones in the sweet colors."
"Dude, that’s a little too gay for me. My gaydar just went up."
"Being a bum would be the easiest job. You just do nothing."

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know where to start. And so I am writing about it on my blog. Lame. But next time there is “bum” talk, I will pipe up. And same for gay talk. I thought once everyone gets past seventh grade this shit goes away. Guess not.

The best thing I overheard today that made everything better was my grandma asking my mom if she had ever seen The Nanny and saying what a hoot that Fran Drescher is.

No thanks

It’s Christmas time here at Dunley and Didley, PC, LLO. Just look at our festive holiday environment, and I’m sure you’ll be convinced that this is the place for you. (And we do this for every holiday, thanks to the folks at Office Environment Consultants, Inc.!) This afternoon is the firm holiday party, which means at 4:45, our runners will distribute cookies to all of the employees at their work stations and then everyone will call into a conference call and listen to a holiday greeting from the firm president.

We place great value on work-life balance here at Dunley and Didley, PC, LLO. For instance, one of our newest associates took last Monday afternoon off for an appendectomy. Another associate started sleeping at home rather than at the office after she had her baby.

We maintain a high profile in the community and support various unimportant non-political causes. Our firm has box seats to almost every athletic or cultural event going on in town. Of course, we don’t use them, but we always fill the seats with attractive people. Won’t you join our team?

Drawerings

A friend of mine is asking everyone she loves to create a self-portrait of themselves and submit it to her and then she will turn it into an album or something wonderful. She showed me her depiction of herself. Although she greatly overestimated her girth, the skill with which she wields a pencil is amazing. She is always dazzling me with secret talents. She kicks ass at law school even though she hates it more than me. She is generally brilliant and never forgets a thing. She is a talented ceramicist, painter, and writer. She can arrange slices of cheese and crudités on a platter in the most pleasing and precise arrangements I’ve ever seen. Her chocolate chip cookies are the best I’ve ever eaten and so too for her cinnamon rolls. She is hilarious and she is one of the kindest and most gracious souls on the planet AND she is for sure one of the prettiest girls around.

I am intimidated about my self-portrait project. I’ve never been gifted in the visual-arts department. I wonder why that is? Why some people totally suck at it and others rock it. I think it is something about brain-wiring and I don’t think me or my teachers could have done anything different with Child Melba to help her out in this department.

I’m thinking about my friend tonight and I have to post something on my blog every day because of a promise I made so I am writing about her because that’s what I am thinking about. I can’t write about anything besides what I am thinking about, right? I hope my friend is okay tonight. Her pet rat died a few nights ago and besides that she’s been dealing with a whole heap of shit. More shit than anyone should ever have to deal with. Is there a way that we can make it so only sucky people have sucky shit to deal with and the wonderful people of the world like my friend can be left alone? That's what I want for Christmas.

Fan Mail

And when I said that I was going to have a blog post every day starting December 16th, I meant December 17th. I really did. I meant that I would start this endeavor on the first day of my break, which is today, the 17th. I apologize for any confusion and beg your forgiveness.

How to start this habit of daily blogging? Not sure. First I’ll have to start a habit of daily writing. What will I write about? Prepare for things to get a lot more mundane around here. But first, I thought I’d answer some fan mail. This one is from a lady named Tancy who lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Dear Melba,

I’m a huge fan. How do you manage to post a blog entry every other month or so, while being a mediocre law student, working between 5 and 15 hours a week , going to yoga classes here and there, running and swimming when the mood strikes, and ignoring your family? Keep up your amazing work!

Fondly,

Tancy in Tulsa



Dear TIT,

Thanks so much for your letter. It ain’t easy, let me tell you. I couldn’t do what I do without my amazing self-discipline. I start every morning by opening my eyes, removing my headgear, and setting one intention for the day. My daily intention could be anything. Sometimes it’s ambitious, like last Tuesday when I set out to count how many times I heard the word “yonder” during the day. Other times it’s totally whimsical like last Wednesday when I set out to inflect the second syllable of every word regardless of where the inflection normally occurs. After intention setting, I do seven sit-ups. Then I head to the bathroom. [This portion removed by site moderator.] By the time I’m done there, it’s dinner time and I choose between a Hot Pocket or a Lean Cuisine, depending on my mood. If I’m not too full, I eat ¾ of an ice cream sandwich and throw the stub in a shopping bag that I keep in the freezer. (When the kids come over, I pull out the bag and let them have an all-you-can-eat-stub fest.) After dinner, I select a piece of classical literature from my collection of leather bound classical literature. I recline on my chaise lounge and wait for a boy to pop by to whom I will say, “Oh, I was just reclining on my chaise catching up on my Thucydides.”

This is what works for me and keeps me going. It’s different for everyone. Find what works for you, stick to it, and then you’ll find that all your hopes and dreams are within reach.

Kindly,

Melba